The Threesome - How Far Would You Go?



The subject of the threesome is high on the list when people are discussing their fantasies. Some simply want to be exciting and adventurous, hoping to spice up a long-term relationship and some are simply curious. But think long and hard about going through with this slight deviation from the norm for a sexual/sensual thrill. Again, sometimes flirting with the idea is exciting enough. Reality is just that-reality. Before inviting your new swinging girlfriend to your marriage bed, consider the following:

Are you prepared to come home from work to find your friend in bed with your husband? Once a couple has entertained a third party, they may be opening the gates for one of the partners to think it is a-ok to play even when you are not around. I don’t care how “free thinking” you are, the first question to hit your mind is, “am I not hot enough for him anymore?”

Humans are jealous by nature. Jealousy is a component deeply imbedded in our primal minds. Do you think you can simply evolve from being jealous just because you wish to spice things up? If your sexual relationship needs a boost, maybe you best not introduce someone that may end up getting the attention you are attempting to get. It can work both ways! It may backfire on you.

STD’s

Are you willing to risk catching a sexually transmitted disease? As we read last month in the Conscious interview, even if your new friend is usually lesbian, she is still capable of carrying HIV! Those risks rise when entertaining another man in your bed that swings both ways. If you just really want to invite a third party in, be darn sure you are practicing safer sex. There is no “safe” sex these days. A rubber can break; a dental damn can slip…especially in the heat of the moment. Is this a risk you want to accept into your marriage?

Tease and Titillate

We discussed a few of the risks of inviting another party into your marriage bed or relationship. If you really want to liven up your sex life with your life partner, but have thought twice about the risks, then here are a few ideas to help spark it up in a less threatening way.

Talk About It

Create a sexy ambience. Make sure you have the candles or fire burning, the lights are low and you both are snuggled into your love nest. Quietly start telling him your threesome fantasy as you entice your lover further by touching yourself in all the right places. Don’t dive right into full on masturbation and explicit details. You want to build the desire and stretch it out. The more fuel you add to the fire the hotter and longer it will burn! Take your time, adding little details etc. Use your imagination and build that erotic desire, then move to gently touching him as the story unfolds….

The Magic Vibrator

If your threesome fantasy involves adding another man to the picture, enlist the help of your favorite vibrator. The lifelike types are especially helpful. Most guys are very sensitive to visual stimulation. As you tell your story, or as he shares his fantasy with you, use that toy!

You may also want to pretend that you are being loved by two guys at once and use the vibrator to simulate another man in the picture while your man makes love to you. Have several dildos for different “jobs”: Don’t mix up your toys, keep your bacteria and viruses to yourselves! You may want to perform fellatio on him while using the vibrator on yourself. You get the picture-use your toys to help in your fantasies.

Watch Threesome Movies Together

What more do I need to say? The most difficult thing to overcome is getting over the embarrassment of going in the roped off area of the movie rental place. Watch these for stimulation of ideas and for a good ole’ fashioned turn on. Just going in together and picking it out can be titillating, exciting and humorous. Oops! There’s that righteous neighbor in the S&M section!! She’ll never be able to call the cops on you again for your loud music. You’ve got something to hold over her head now!

By using your fantasy creatively, you can add some extra stimulation to your sexual repertoire and stay safe at the same time.

Have Fun & Be Safe!

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Learn more about healthy sexual relationships in
Reclaiming Healthy Sexual Energy

by Anne Stirling Hastings &Terry Kellogg

From the back cover..."We live in a culture that is out of touch spiritually -- we aren't aware of our physical bodies, our relationships, or our place in the the ecology of the earth... Sexuality is one facet of our spiritual nature. It has suffered abuse as deeply as any of our other spiritual dimensions."

 


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