A Stranger In Town

It was only a few days ago when Yodar Hoopelhoffer, the Mount Perry town idiot, ambled down North Jefferson Street in the company of a small hairy, bipedal, creature. It was unlike anything anyone in this town had ever seen before.

It was walking upright on its hind legs, and it was completely covered with a thick coat of dark brown, coarse looking hair. Its beady little eyes were set deep in the facial hair as was a small black nose. Under all this was a mouth full of very sharp looking teeth. Its ears were located high on its head and their points just shown above the hair. It had five fingers on each hand, with opposable thumb, and five toes on each foot complete with toe and finger nails, all neatly trimmed.

Although no one else could understand a word of what was being said; the creature seemed to be carrying on a conversation with Yodar. It was fairly obvious Yodar was enjoying the conversation. Unfortunately, there was no way to tell what the mood of the creature was because of all the hair on its face. The two moved through Mount Perry and on to Yodar’s house where they went inside like old friends.

Within moments of the first sighting, members of the world famous Mount Perry Zoological Society were called to the scene to make a determination of exactly what kind of creature was visiting Yodar. In the past, Yodar had brought home some rather strange and sometimes quite dangerous wild animals. At the very least, this thing was strange looking. With its sharp looking teeth, it could very well be dangerous.

Looking in through the living room window, the members of the Zoological Society found Yodar and the creature drinking what looked like tea from Yodar’s best porcelain cups. They seemed to be swapping jokes, judging by the way the two of them were laughing it up.

However, even with long distance listening devices, no one could understand a word that was being said. Yodar had long claimed he spoke fluently in 52 different languages. The world acclaimed Mount Perry Linguistic Society was never able to identify more than two of the languages. Now it seemed, we were listening to the third of the identifiable languages even though no one understood it.

Yodar was invited to bring his guest outside but the request was refused. Yodar said his guest did not want to be interviewed. A similar demand from the Mount Perry Police Department met a similar fate. It seemed quite evident, Yodar had no intention of sharing his guest with anyone else at this time.

The police department immediately surrounded the house with armed patrolmen to make sure the creature stayed where it was until some determination could be made as to exactly what the creature was. Naturally the first speculation was; it was some sort of dwarf or young “Big Foot” monster. This idea gained favor as time went on and pictures of the hairy little creature, taken through Yodar’s window, were distributed.

As the day wore on the Mount Perry Zoological Society decided it was nothing more than some very shy species of dumb animal that had wandered the swamps around Mount Perry, unseen, for generations. It was able to converse with Yodar because Yodar was also considered dumb. The two of them shared a similar mentality and were able to exchange ideas at this level.

In due course it was decided to trap the animal and put it in a cage at the Zoo. Mr I. Katchum, Mount Perry’s expert on trapping wild and dangerous animals, was brought into the picture and instructed to catch the animal unhurt as a zoological specimen

Mr. Katchum called in his team of 60 or so helpers. Katchum and his gang of thugs moved in on the house with great stealth. Once in position around the house, a signal was given. Mr. Katchum and all of his 60 helpers charged into the house wielding nets and clubs.

After a brief struggle the creature was brought out of the house wrapped securely in nets. It just seemed to be resting in the net, its arms folded across its chest, with a, “What the Hell is this all about?” expression on its face.

Yodar protested loudly over the removal of his friend saying, “This is my friend! You have no right to invade my home and remove him.” The police brushed him aside and made off to the zoo with Mr. Katchum and their prize. After all, Yodar was the Mount Perry town idiot, what did he know.

Yodar wailed, “You don’t know what you’re doing. This is an intelligent creature and an advanced emissary from another world bent on expansion into less civilized worlds. All you’re doing is demonstrating we’re not civilized.” No one paid him the slightest attention.

The new guest at the zoo just sat down against the back wall of its cage and watched the curious crowd wander by staring at him. It seemed to have no interest at all in what was going on.

Toward evening the creature got up and wandered over to the door to its cage and examined the lock in great detail.

Just after dark, there was a muffled explosion at the zoo. Shortly thereafter the creature was seen racing through the town and out into the swamps. Mr. Katchum and his gang raced into the swamps shortly thereafter intent on recapturing the creature.

Yodar sat on his front porch watching what was going on. His only comment was, “You’re going to be sorry you did this.”

About ten minutes after Mr. Katchum and his gang entered the swamp, there was a huge ball of blue light and a sizzling sound way off in the underbrush. Minutes later Katchum and his gang reemerged from the swamp on the run, completely naked, hairless and scorched to a dark brown color.

Wild eyed with fear, Katchum pointed over his shoulder and said, “Watch Out! The hairy little beast is armed! Run for your lives!” Before he could speak another word, there was a low pitched hum and a circular looking, silver colored object rose up out of the swamp. The object zoomed in very low over the town of Mount Perry and “ZAPPED” the entire town with a blue ray that left the entire population naked, hairless and scorched like Katchum’s gang. All that is except Yodar, who still sat on his porch nodding his head as he murmured, “I told you you’d be sorry.”

The object then swooped low over Yodar’s home and wobbled its wings once or twice before it vanished soundlessly into the night sky.

This picture was snapped by the camera man who accompanied Mount Perry’s ace reporter, Mr. Badnews Hunter to the scene.

Although the two of them are now as naked, scorched and hairless as the rest of the town’s population, the film in the camera was not damaged.

Copyright ©2002 All rights reserved.

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