Are We Having Fun Yet?
ďWhy are we camping, again?Ē I repeated this often to my friends while we were camping. Who came up with this camping thing anyway?
I need new friends. The ones I have now keep insisting on taking me with them when they want to go camping. I just donít get it! You pack a bunch of your stuff. Drive for miles to out of the way places just to unload everything and then put up the camp.
You have to set up the tents, chairs, tables, kitchen area if you are opportune enough to have such a thing as someone who can cook outdoors on one of those camp stoves or a camp fire, and, of course, your obligatory camp fire.
You walk for yards where you have to go poop in a port-a-potty and that is if you are fortunate. Some places donít even have that so you need to buy a camping shovel. What? You thought that was just for the campfire? Ha!
Oh, and the locals will probably be out and about for those 1 oíclock in the morning runs to the potty, such as raccoons, so you will have company. Donít forget bears, grouchy possums, and coyotes. I have been told that they wonít bother you, but I wonder if that's in a contract they had to sign. Will I need a lawyer?
Unless you are very lucky and the campground has shower facilities, forget about it. And jumping in the lake does not constitute a shower or a bath. Fish poop in there so how clean could that water be. Some places do have showers and even electric so you can take your hair dryer, but check before hand because you donít want to take anything unless you have too. Believe me; you will be taking most of your house with you as it is.
I donít understand the concept so I sat down and made a pro/con list to see if it would be any easier to grasp.
Pro-be outside in nature.
Con-insects and dangerous grouchy possums that can get you.
Pro-be with friends.
Con-hear friends snore in tents that keep you awake all night.
Pro-get away from it all.
Con-get lost in woods.
Okay, itís cheaper, but is it worth it. A low budget motel would work too, with indoor plumbing and not a man eating raccoon in sight.
Thereís another thing about camping. Rain! You canít do anything in the rain except get wet. Just sit in the hot or cold tent with nothing to do except listen for raccoons and grouchy possums. Tents are very messy, by the way, if itís raining when you break camp to go home. Mud is attracted to wet tents.
I love my friends and theyíre lots of fun, but did we have to go on this trip? And whoís going to buy me a new box of powdered donuts to replace the one the raccoons took last night?
Writing has been Loretta's passion and obsession for as long as she can remember and she has been published on line at Bay Review, Topwriter, and The 17th Sense. She has also been published in a New York City local magazine called Aware.